Sometimes, I wish it would all leave.

I sit at my house, with the lights dimmed, thinking about what will come of me.  Laying there on my back, my consciousness starts to waiver.  Random thoughts flow into me like an overfilled teacup.

My life as I know it is dull.  Friends are few and far between.  Dealing with loneliness was something I thought I had conquered.  I thought I liked being alone.  It gave me time to myself, necessary time to find what makes me tick.  Now, it’s just time wasted in nothingness.

Every time I enter this hollow world I have a sinking feeling, like the weight of all my sorrows crushing me.  No one is there to talk, to listen, or care, for that matter.  No one knows my pain or my struggles.  I lie there, looking for an answer.  God shows me answers sometimes, which I’m thankful for, and though I’m patient with everyone and their problems, I can’t be patient with myself or Him.

Too long have I just sat down, looked at things, and not acted.  I feel my strength leaving me faster than the spaces between my breaths.  I'm not as strong as everyone thinks.  Why don't you people get it?!  Quit saying I'm so smart, charming, wonderful and amazing when I know that I'm not!

And...

Once again....

We come back to nothingness.  The core of our being.  From dust we were made, and to dust we shall return.  I wish everyone would realize that I, you, or anyone isn't as great as we make ourselves out to be.  In the end, it all becomes dust.